5 minutes can bring you calm and peace to solve all of your problems.  The Ocean began to speak and I listened.

All I Learned From The Ocean.

I recently spent some time staring at the ocean.  I have done that many times over my life and the ocean never ceases to hypnotize me.  It has the power to support life and destroy life, to create fun and pleasure and heart ache and sorrow.  Thus goes the roller coaster of life, like the waves of the ocean.  Sometimes the bumps are small and other times they are tsunami’s.  Even the richest person didn’t get there without some trouble.  Even the most peaceful person had turbulence in their life otherwise how would you know what peace was?  You can’t avoid stress, but what you can do is let it roll through you like the ocean.

“If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity, it would be this:
Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in the eye and say, I will be bigger than you.  You cannot defeat me.” -Ann Landers

If you ever go body surfing and spend anytime in a wave you realize a few things quickly.
#1 Don’t fight the ocean

After the wave dumps you and you remain stiff and struggle for the surface you are going to get hurt.  If you let your body be loose and flow with the water the energy of the wave will pass through you and your body will wiggle and shake but you won’t get hurt.  Once the wave passes you can easily swim to the surface.

#2 Don’t fight the ocean

Let’s say you want to swim towards the beach and you are Michael Phelps.  He is a pretty good swimmer.  If you get caught in a rip tide and the ocean decides you don’t need to go to the beach it will pull you farther away no matter how strong you are.  If you swim straight against a rip tide, you lose.  Think of it as swimming straight into trouble.  You can’t deny that there is a problem, because you are in it.  You probably swam into it without even realizing it.  You need to swim sideways until the current is small enough to overcome.

Some problems can be tackled head on, but large problems often require a more subtle approach.  If a large problem develops and your mind is racing and you are panicking you can’t see clearly and you are wasting precious energy.  Stress and busyness are distractions for the mind.  After a week of sitting by the ocean I noticed one thing.  People are in a real hurry to get somewhere.

Project to fix stress and busyness
Go get some sand / dirt and put it a jar and add water.  Screw the top on and give it a shake.  Cloudy right!  Keep shaking it until it settles.  Come on shake it harder.  Just shake it in one direction so the sand will settle.
Not happening, right!  Put the jar down and let it sit for a few hours.  It will settle all by itself.  Your mind works the same way.  You can’t ask your mind to do a million tasks and expect it to perform flawlessly in a stressful situation.  The calm mind can be focused and solve problems very well.  I always knew I had rocks in my head.  The easiest way I have found to be at peace with the world around me is to sit and do nothing.  I know it sounds obvious, but try it.  Let the sand in your mind settle.  Sit and listen to your breathing for 5 minutes.

What is your story.  Are you doing what you want? 

Does your job fulfill you?  Are you enjoying what you do?  This is a tough area  for many people.  I remember years ago I taught some classes on being healthier.  One of the ladies did not like my class on work.  She was an executive at an industry here in New Ulm.   The basic take-home message is this: “get a new job if you are doing something that you hate”.  Here is an email she sent me from her new life:

“The 3 of us females(She and her 2 daughters) in my family have all learned the hard way of how the corporate world devalues you and it eats away at your very life.  I seem to remember one of your classes with a similar message that I wasn’t ready to hear at that time,  but I did come around!!

My entire family has learned from what you have passed on to me and the ripple keeps going!   I gave up my stressful job almost a year ago, a lot less money, but the difference I feel is amazing and apparent to everyone.  I’ve taken up yoga which has done wonders for me, and getting 8 hours sleep and no shift work is also a great treat after over 30 years of that craziness!  It was sure hard to finally separate myself from that job and I did go through a “mourning” process and needed counselling. Now I look back and I’m amazed I survived as long as I did.  When my classmate died of a heart attack on my old crew last month, I thought that could have been me if I hadn’t left.”  .

Are you meeting the people you wanted?  

Do you have the friends you want, or the spouse of your dreams? “Fireproof” is an excellent movie on marriage.

Are you spending the time with the people you want to?  

Do you go to the bar instead of playing with your kids?  Are you missing their sports activities for an extra hour of overtime?  If you are doing what you want, then great.  But if not, sometimes it is as simple as saying no to the extras.  If work is a problem for time, here is a quick tip:  Give yourself short deadlines.  It will push you to get things done faster.  Kind of like when you are going on vacation, it’s amazing how much you can get done beforehand.  Also, observe Paretto’s Law of 80/20.  Only 20% of your work/clients/time is valuable.  Find the 80% of waste and cut it.  Believe me, it’s there.

Are your relationships positive and productive?

Are there some energy vampires hanging on you?  There are people in the world who suck.  Yes, they suck the life out of anyone near them.  Stay away.  I can tell fairly quickly whether patients are going to stick around or not.  I repel energy suckers.  I don’t allow negative people in my life or as patients.  Their negativity and lifeless energy is never worth any monetary exchange.

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It is a spring and simplicity is a necessity, otherwise burnout is inevitable.  Here are seven ways to simplify.

#1 Eliminate just one of your commitments.  Get rid of the one that stresses you the most.#2 Organize your desk.  Be ruthless, clutter fragments the mind.  It wastes time with unproductive distractions.#3 Don’t be late for any more appointments.  It stresses everyone.  Leave 10 minutes earlier than you think.#4 Avoid stressful people.  Energy suckers.  It is hard when they are in your family, but do it anyway.#5 Just SLOW down.  Drive 55 mph, walk if you can, look around at the world, call a friend, CHEW your food (meals should last at least 20 minutes).#6 Exercise…major stress reducer.#7 Make your to-do list shorter and put some open unscheduled time in there.

Our lives in money!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up.He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you, but first, let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the $20 dollar bill up. He then asked,“ Who still wants it?” Still the hands were up in the air. “Well”, he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air. “My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson”, he said, “No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.”Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless…. and especially to those who love you.The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or whom we know, but by WHO WE ARE.You are special - Don’t EVER forget it.-Mark Victor HansenI’d love to hear in the comments about how you relieve stress.-Dr. Altman